Nov 30, 2021

Senior's Dress Code

Published Feb 12, 2006, 12:00pm

Many of us "old folks" (those hovering near 40, over 40, or WAY over 40) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to be hip and conform to the trends & fashions that designers in NYC, California, &/or Paris inflict upon the world.

So a sincere study was made of the situation and here are the results. I don't want to burst your bubble, but despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and thus should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. In-line skates and a walker
13. Thongs and Depends

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